Blog

January 2019 Newsletter

26 Dec

December 21, 2018

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Past newsletters and the ETCG Blog can be found here.

Happy New Year!

I want to kick this year off by wishing you and yours a very Happy New Year!

I started my EricTheCarGuy YouTube channel on January 27, 2009. That means 2019 is my 10th year of working as EricTheCarGuy. Almost 1000 videos and 1.2 million subscribers later, I still feel like I’m starting out.

YouTube has changed quite a bit in the last 10 years, so have I for that matter, but I’m still striving to bring you engaging and educational content each week.

I just finished reading the January 2018 Newsletter. In it, I talked about working to get back the views over the coming year. If that didn’t happen, I was going to look for another way to make a living. Not giving up YouTube entirely, just redirecting my focus on something that I felt would be a better use of my time.

Well, I got a few of my former views back in 2018, but not as much as I’d hoped. I originally thought the issue was too many Fairmont videos. I hardly posted any Fairmont videos last year, and people still didn’t come back. In fact, I’ve had people asking where the Fairmont videos are. That says to me that too many Fairmont videos was not really the problem.

Speaking of the Fairmont, did you know that it’s been featured in the February 2019 issue of Hot Rod? I’ve been reading Hot Rod all my life and had dreamed of one day getting a car into those hallowed pages. Now that I have, I feel blessed, and that’s not a word I throw around lightly. Don’t worry #FairmontProject fans, I’m already working on the edits of the build that will be coming out soon. You’ll have a nice selection of Fairmont videos coming your way but don’t worry, they won’t dominate the channel. I plan to mix them in with other content.

The business of EricTheCarGuy is also doing better than ever. I’m a spokesperson for MAHLE with one of my best friends, HumbleMechanic. I also have other endorsement deals and opportunities that I’m very proud to be a part of. My hard work has paid off in that regard.

But I’ll be honest here. I don’t feel the same way I did when I started 10 years ago. I don’t feel the same hunger, or maybe desperation is a better word. I think that’s what attracted people to my channel in the first place, the desperation, and the way I overcame it. I think they saw and felt the same desperation in themselves, and my videos helped them overcome it. Let’s face it, if you have a broken vehicle and you can’t get to work as a result, you might be feeling pretty desperate.

To sum things up, I think the views are not there because I’m no longer as relatable as I used to be. I’m not desperate in some dingy, poorly lit shop, with minimal tools. Instead, I’m successful, in a brightly lit, well equipped shop, with the resources to do just about whatever I want. The complete opposite of where I started out, and no longer relatable in the same way to the many people that started following me in the beginning. A phrase I commonly see is, “I miss the old Eric the car guy videos”.

FYI, I really hate it when someone types my name as “Eric the car guy”, it’s “EricTheCarGuy”, all one word. Hey, when you build a brand, you have a vision in mind and you stay true to it.

I started ETCG to not only help others, but also to help myself. I’m in a very different place now than I was 10 years ago, and that is a direct result of my success with EricTheCarGuy. It’s not just my success though, it’s yours too. If you’re reading this newsletter, I’m going to wager that you’re more than the average ETCG viewer. You’re a bit more invested. Therefore I’m going to continue with the honesty part of this newsletter.

It’s really great to be where I am now. My bills are paid for one. Anyone with bills knows the stress bills can cause. Not having to worry about them every month is life changing. I’m not saying I don’t worry about my bills anymore. I also believe it’s not what you make, it’s what you spend. What I’m saying is that I no longer worry that I won’t be able to pay for the food my wife buys when she goes to the grocery store. That has been very liberating.

In short, just about every one of my dreams in life has come true thanks to the success of EricTheCarGuy, so why am I not happy?

I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately. I seem to be at the height of my success, yet I still feel empty, and sometimes sad. For one thing, I don’t get excited about making videos in the same way I used to. I really hate to admit that because for me, making videos felt like my calling. From the first video I produced, I felt like that is what I was born to do. I don’t feel that way anymore and that makes me sad.

In fact, I don’t feel like doing much these days. Sure, I do what I need to do, when I need to do it, and I give it my best, for whatever that’s worth, but it’s not what I want to be doing. It feels like I’m forcing myself to do the things I used to love, and I don’t like it.

Also, I don’t like social media, or it might be better to say, I resent my phone and what it represents sometimes. The irony of this is not lost on me, given what I do for a living.

I just don’t think with social media in mind. I feel silly and selfish sharing the mundane details of my day to day with the world. If I were not me, and I followed social media, I wouldn’t give a rat’s behind about what ETCG is doing right this second, but if he was my next door neighbor, I’d be over his house every weekend handing him wrenches while he fixed or built things. For me, that is what being social is, everything else seems like an ad. Thank you Kardashians. I liked you better when you were just the offspring of a famous lawyer.

To sum things up and get to the point, I think my burn out from 2017 has transformed into depression, and not the “I’m feeling sad” kind of depression, but the chemical kind that makes it hard to lift a blanket and get out from under it. This may also have something to do with my age, I’m 48 in case you wondered. It’s an age where things start to break down, including those hormones that regulate mood. My mood lately has been sad, and I’m really not sure why. The only thing I can pin it on is something chemical inside me. That’s not easy to admit, but I feel it’s true.

At this point I’m questioning why I’m airing this here, especially after wishing you a Happy New Year, but the answer is that I feel I owe it to you. I think it’s the responsibility of the captain to let his passengers and crew know if he’s not feeling up to the task of navigating them through stormy waters.

There is hope here. I’m not giving up. That’s not really my thing. Instead, I plan to seek professional help. Perhaps get on some medication that will help even things out. That’s huge for me. I don’t even take aspirin when I have a headache most times. I really don’t like doctors, or taking medicine, but I can see when something is broken, and age has taught me that when something is broken and you can’t fix it yourself, find an expert.

I’m also starting to walk again. No, I’m not talking about learning how to walk again, but walking for exercise. I used to walk about 4 miles a day several years ago, and found it very therapeutic. I find physical exercise is great for dealing with chemical imbalances. It also keeps my mind focused on something positive.

So in 2019 I’m going to start by fixing me. I’m still going to be posting videos. The YouTube algorithm won’t let me do otherwise. Also, one thing I still like about my job is my interactions with you, the fans of the show. It’s those words of encouragement in the comments, or better still, when I meet some of you in person, that reminds me of the good I’ve done in the world. Nothing makes me happier than being reminded of how I’ve had a positive effect on someones life.

So, I’m going to keep going for you if nothing else. After all, I wouldn’t be in this great place in life without you. For that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am truly grateful for the success I have now as a result of your support.

Lastly, part of what I’m trying to communicate here is that success is not always what it’s cracked up to be. In many ways I’m feeling like a victim of my success, and that’s a weird thing to say, but the facts seem to support the theory. “Be careful what you wish for”, comes to mind. Although I will admit that I’d much rather have the problems I have now over the problems I had 10 years ago when I started EricTheCarGuy. So please don’t see this paragraph as a way of blaming you for how I feel now. That’s on me.

In the next newsletter, I’ll talk about up and coming stuff. I actually have some great things planned, but for now, I’ve got a few things to sort out.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.