Selling cars on frickin Craigslist

[none]

I posted this on CL and I had to share it.

If you have no intention of actually looking at my car for sale…

Then please don’t call or text me saying you want to look at it. I put my own plans on hold for part of a day because you say you’re going to come out and look at the car. I lose hours of my day and then ultimately days of my week because there are so many of you selfish and irresponsible flakes out there never once following through. (I get it…Sometimes you have to dial my area code before the phone number. That’s up to ten whole digits you had to punch in to send me that text. Then you had to make a sentence with words & everything. I can hear the arthritis setting into your thumbs from here. That’s just too much trauma for one Craigslist ad.) Don’t make the fucking call if you’re not going to commit. I have shit to do too.

Call me at 1-800-IMAGROWNUP as soon as you start actually acting like a grown up and we’ll schedule a time you can look at this nice car I have for sale. Then show up. It’s a really fucking nice car after all. It does have that one scratch I couldn’t quite buff out, but I did recharge the AC.

The actual ad is here: http://madison.craigslist.org/cto/5273107156.html

Check it out before it gets flagged.

Attachments:

• nicefuckingcarforcl.jpg

Topic

[Mike]

I have a great BMW parts car still sitting in my yard/parking area because I’m so traumatized by trying to sell it on craigslist that I haven’t ever listed it anywhere for sale since that debacle a year ago. I got somewhere between 40-60 emails responding to the ad, most if which were asking me if the car was still for sale and then ignoring me when I said yes. Almost every other response was asking about something that was answered clearly in the ad. ONE person out of all that hell actually came to look at the car.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN! I really try not to be profane in public and on forums, but this kind of thing is where it’s especially hard to remain decent. It takes a lot to make me be the asshole that posted the last version of my ad.

I kept the ad up and kept amending It based on the responses I was getting over about 10 weeks. By the time it got to it’s final revision, the responses had finally stopped and I took the ad down after that. Here is the post body of the ad, pasted over from my craigslist account (The live ad had pictures of the car):

The Angry Craigslist Ad:

***ATTENTION READ EVERYTHING CAREFULLY BEFORE CONTACTING ME***

—>If this ad is still up, the car is STILL FOR SALE and NOT being parted out.If this ad is still up, the car is STILL FOR SALE and NOT being parted out.<—

At this point I cannot stress enough that this parts car is FOR SALE RIGHT NOW!

***LET ME CLARIFY that this car is FOR SALE NOW BECAUSE THIS AD EXISTS***

***Please read AND UNDERSTAND this entire ad carefully before contacting me.***

You would need be buying at least $1000 in parts out of it for me to start parting it out specifically to sell you parts from it.***Price is firm, it is the biggest loss I'm willing to take vs. $2000+ that can be made from parting it out.***

If you are still reading, congrats on being above the reading level of 90% of those who have responded to this ad thus far, and I'm sorry to have to make the preceding retard disclaimer. The actual beginning of the ad starts now.

For sale is my 89 325i, which up until June was my daily driver for the last 5 years. It is a white 2 door 5spd. The engine and transmission are in perfect operational order other than minor leaks I've been driving with and monitoring since I got it, and both have been using Mobil1 and BG SyncroShift oils for years. There is also no rust in the coolant. The Limited-Slip differential is tight, works very well still and has been running Royal Purple Maxgear oil. The 3 basic powertrain components alone, based on current market prices, could be parted out for 150% of my offering price. It also has a recently installed windshield that's barely begun pitting and painted reman front brake calipers. It will also include a set of 14" Borbet type B wheels with centering rings.

The body is still solid enough to drive aggressively, but had severe rust issues when I bought it and they have not gotten better with age. It is VERY RUSTY. A rust hole in the left front wheel well right under the fuse/relay block has been allowing road spray to get into the fuse block and it has sustained corrosion causing open circuts associated with the PCM/DME computer, causing a crank no start condition. To be clear, the car does not run at this time and would need to be towed. In order to make it run, a minimum of 4 PCM circuits need to be jumped around the fuse block, and I've already made it worse by moving the fuse block around trying to examine it. Dealing with it is beyond the scope of what I have the patience to get involved in, although it's fixable and could drive again for who knows how long. Basically it needs to have a good used fuse block and attached wiring harness sourced and installed to make it run, but the amount of effort required to do that will result in a car without much practical lifespan left.

In my opinion, this car is basically a great condition E30 powertrain on wheels with some other useful spare parts. I'm not interested in selling this car for scrap, and I believe it belongs in the hands of someone who already has E30 ownership experience. Although the body is a highly desirable 2 door, understand that this particular one would need to be fully stripped and extensive restorative bodywork done to last much longer. If you want a 2 door shell to restore and turn into one of these E30's with a sick engine swap in it, this might be up your alley for that since you'd probably be cutting up and modifying the shell anyway.

I know that the price may seem like a lot for a "junk" car, but I know what these cars and their parts are worth. This vehicle will also come with a clean New York title with only my signature on it so you may do with it as you wish. Anyone coming to look at the car will also be provided with in car video as recent as a month ago that demonstrates the car's running condition and roadworthiness, if requested. If you're still interested after reading all this, email me and we can set something up. My name is Mike.

JUST TO BE CLEAR, the shell is RUSTY, it is not a "clean" car. If you do not want a major bodywork project, consider this a parts car. The only reason the shell is worth anything at all is because it's a 2 door Coupe.

SOME OTHER GOOD PARTS ON THIS CAR:
-Perfect condition dash
-Projector/ellipsoid headlamps
-4 channel amp and 4 nice 5 1/4" speakers installed with all wiring and patch cables
-Tail lamps and bulb trays that are in good condition
-Blower motor new from dealer $400 and resistor 2 years old
-Eibach stabilizer bars both with 3 positions to put the links in to adjust stiffness
-Chinese BCT tires on the back that I put on only a week before it died, and I didn't even get to drift in the rain with them yet. They are actually pretty good for a cheap tire.
-Rear trailing arms 80% clean and have new FAG wheel bearings and dealer backing plates for the parking brake to mount to.

[none]

Mouth words…literally busted a nut laughing at that one. You are my hero here.

Thank you 😀

I’ve been trying to sell a nice Chevy Cobalt I put an engine into for a month or so and I’ve also been trying to sell my neighbors 85 Dodge pickup with a step side bed. I got two flakes that no call/no showed on the Cobalt and there’s a guy from halfway across Iowa that said he was committed to buying the Dodge that never showed. The neighbor was an hour away re-ringing his engine and he drove back home with a borrowed vehicle just to meet the guy. He lost nearly three hours waiting for this guy plus two hours drive time and my whole day was shot between both vehicles and three unreliable people.

The ad already got flagged and that’s too bad. So many people needed to read that while others wouldn’t get to enjoy this part of the ad:

Attachments:

• flaggedclad3.png

[none]

I reposted the Dodge for sale and I’m gonna share with you some bathroom reading:

1985 Dodge Ram step side – $900

READ THIS ENTIRE AD AS HARD AS YOU CAN BEFORE YOU CONTACT ME AT ALL. ONCE YOU’VE READ THIS AD, READ IT AS HARD AS YOU CAN AGAIN.

This is a project truck. Not a daily driver. It does run, drive, and stop but it’s clearly nothing less than a project truck. You can drive this truck for hundreds of miles if you really need to, but it’s best if you bring a trailer and tow it home as your next project truck.

It’s a 1985 body with a 1998 driveline. That means engine, transmission, PCM, and axle are all 1998 spec. 5.2 V8, Automatic transmission, 2WD. Front steering and suspension are all stock 1985 parts.

The transmission won’t hold in park and it will need the ATF topped off before you drive it any length that is greater than the length of your trailer. The back half of the right side frame rail is badly rusted. The leaf spring mount areas are particularly weak and have holes around the mounts. This is why I’m suggesting you show up with a trailer.

Much of the interior is in surprisingly good shape for a 30 year old truck. It is red inside, the dash and the seat upholstery are mostly intact. The door panels are, however, faded out and looks to have some dry rot to them.

There is rust on this truck. Nothing that is beyond salvage except for possibly the tail gate and the rear bumper. It’s a 30 year old truck. If you try to tell me that the truck is worth less because of its rust, I will point you to at least 10 dealerships within a three mile radius of my location. They can offer you vehicles for sale that are not 30 years old and don’t have 30 year old rust.

What makes this truck kinda special is the fact that it’s a step side short box truck. These step side boxes alone don’t sell for less than my $900 asking price. So really, you’re buying the box and you get a nice project truck free with it. Seriously, no additional charge for the rest of the truck and it’s got a title to go with it.

How this works from here is you call me at show contact info If I can’t answer the call, leave a message. I will get back to you. I don’t have text messaging at the moment so you’re going to have to call. Email via the reply to link is also fine.

Then we arrange a time for you to look the truck over and you decide whether or not you want to buy it. The price is firm. Once you’re here, you’re either going to pay my asking price or you’re not. Either result is fine, but nothing else is negotiable. If you buy the truck, you pay the full asking price in legal US cash money.

Please be a full blown, full grown, responsible, and mature human being before you contact me and make sure you’re still a full blown, grown up, responsible human being that’s going to follow through if you say you’re going to come out and look at this truck. I promise my attitude will be drastically different if you can do this for me. I really am a much more congenial type of asshole when you take the initiative to be a grown up first.

show contact info

$900 Firm. Payable in legitimate US cash money.

[zero]

Whenever I sell used stuff online I emotionally prepare myself to just delete half the emails I get. It sucks when things are tight and that $100 would help, but I’m not going to give something away.

Is it still for sale. Delete
Will you sell it for half of what your asking. Delete
Can you hold it until next week. Delete.

When someone finally gives an decent response I put effort into it.

[Bluesnut]

While the selling problems are nothing to laugh about, there are some Craigslist chuckles on don’tevenreply.com.

While those are funny in a black comedy kind of way, the CL sellers are honestly being yanked.

[Daniel Weith]

I tried to purchase a car from Craigslist once and got discouraged due to the lack of honesty on the condition of the vehicle.

Delusional on the value when the condition and mileage dictates a much lower price.

Also, rust does not qualify as two tone paint.

[Author]

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