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Hello all!
I’m kind of fuming right now, so I’ll try to make this short. How do you deal with ass hole coworkers (or in my case, a fellow student), who never shuts their trap?
The kid who sits behind me in school is the class clown. You know the type. He was busy yacking about stupid stuff when one of the Instructors was putting out important information regarding certification testing retakes for the 4 of us Automotive guys sitting in a Diesel class. The 4 of us have been dying for information on when and where we can take this test. I sit near the wall, so I turn in my chair to better see the Power Point Lecture Presentations. I’m VERY hard of hearing in both ears, and my right is the worst. So old Gang-green (Diesel guys wear green shirts, Auto wears blue) behind me was trash talking about “Blueberry” kids, all I can hear is him flapping into my good ear, and I sorta lost it. I started screaming F-bombs loud as could be, and threatening to smash his face inside out.
The instructors started yelling at us, but we continued to yell back and forth. To make a long story short: about 2 micro-seconds before I went flying from my desk to go to work on old gang-green’s face, the Instructors and a couple of students yelled at us loud enough to break my focus, and we both had to go to the classroom office to get yelled at.
I’ve complained to my instructors, who are aware that I have rage issues, and I have complained to the Dept. Coordinator. I have tolerated more from this punk than I have ever tolerated from anybody. Under normal circumstances, I would go to town, and have a field day beating the p1ss out of a guy like that. Trouble is, fighting at WyoTech is grounds for immediate expulsion. No certificate, no transcripts, no help finding a job. Just goodbye, and see ya never.
So, I’m asking the community at large here: How do you keep your cool when you want to murder an ass hole coworker??
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Violence or violent behavior will never solve anything.
Depending on the circumstances, you can try to politely ask them to be quiet during class or if you are not comfortable doing that, ask the teacher to speak louder or talk to your instructors after class stating a few concerns you have.
If you think your fellow students are annoying, wait until your working in the field dealing with customers and there complaints. Plus some co workers also have that ability to ruffle our feathers per se.
You need to learn how to keep ‘your cool’ which for me, was tough until i hit my late 20’s. Now it takes ‘alot’ to get me frustrated. If it gets too bad, just walk away from the situation.
NEVER let others bring you down, ever, period. Dont drop to those people’s levels or fall into there mind games. Its not worth it.
There has been many times when i was younger where i wish i could have taken some ones head off with a giant pry bar but i just bite my tongue. Its not worth the trouble.
Usually i try not to socialize with people who similar to those who you are describing.
This post might not help you much but i totally understand where your coming from and i am fully rooting for you 100%.
People like this guy will always be around you for your whole life so the sooner you just accept it and deal with it the better for you. Like dreamer says you don’t have to hang with him. Believe me I can be as short tempered as anyone and at 44 am barely starting to mellow out. So hang in there buddy and just accept these jerks as part of your life experience just like the rain and snow storms we endure.
i would use a threat like if you dont shut up i will shove this spark plug where the sun dont shine or i will tie you to a tree using a fanbelt.
i too have anger issues.
but this is just me, you should keep your cool.
Police are very frequently verbally abused. With the weapons and skills they have, they cannot lose their cool, and use these in any un-prescribed manner.
I think in police training, officers are verbally abused by very good actors, hired for that purpose, that make the situation realistic. If you have some friends that are cops or military, have a chat with them, and they might help you.
Perhaps consider having some of your friends purposely get hot and critical with you, while you practice staying cool. The interesting thing, like every skill, being cool is truly a matter of practice. The good news is that all of us eventually get enough “be cool” practice that we mellow with age. But don’t wait until you’re 50 to be the master of yourself.
Police are very frequently verbally abused. With the weapons and skills they have, they cannot lose their cool, and use these in any un-prescribed manner.
I think in police training, officers are verbally abused by very good actors, hired for that purpose, that make the situation realistic. If you have some friends that are cops or military, have a chat with them, and they might help you.
Perhaps consider having some of your friends purposely get hot and critical with you, while you practice staying cool. The interesting thing, like every skill, being cool is truly a matter of practice. The good news is that all of us eventually get enough “be cool” practice that we mellow with age. But don’t wait until you’re 50 to be the master of yourself.
My mountains of Military training never once covered this stuff. I just invited my fellow Soldiers to come out to the “Wood line” and went to town on their faces. NOT trying to brag there, I’m not proud of it.
Thanks for the advice, gents.
Do you have to sit next to this guy? Get away from him.
When I need to control rage, I just work until I’m too tired to care about anything. Find an acceptable outlet to expend energy, smash rock with a hammer, chop wood with an axe, or rip parts out of cars at the junk yard with all of your best tools.
– Jeff
Doesn’t matter now. I’m graduated 🙂 Although this advice will definitely be helpful in the real world. I’m the guy who always wants to throw tools or fists. the new ETCG1 changed my outlook a lot
I can relate to how you feel on this subject, but control is the key word here. I can tell you that it gets easier as you get older, but the work place is full of this. What I found that worked for me was to constantly watch when the frustration came on and position myself so things were advantageous to me. In your case, where you sat in class could have changed. Another thing is working with people, such as your instructor or lead man so they know exactly what you are about. Good communications is key in this area. Getting them in your corner can be a real asset.
As a final suggestion, you might consider walking away from what is giving you troubles. This may help to maintain control, because after you get so angry that you are out of control, you are not helping anyone or anything and hurting mostly yourself.
I am not proud of how I used to handle things like this. Sometimes things come back to haunt me that I had long forgotten. I am 51 years old and can say that I still do not handle all of the frustration life sends my way the best I could. I am lucky enough to have a wife that understands me and helps me through this.
Good luck. You are talking about one of life’s tough problems.
Thanks for the advice. Some people’s kids, I’m telling you, they just don’t grow up. But that’s ok, because in a few short months, Student Loan Repayment will be called up. I’ll be making my payments, and he’ll be handing over his unemployment checks!
Me, I just usually take it out on the wife and kids when I get home from work.
I kid, I kid! No really, get a dog.
Just kidding! Sheesh…is it getting hot in here?
I usually quantify the reason for the jerk being a jerk by rationalizing why the guy is the way he is. In other words, I try to think of interesting reasons for that person to be the way they are, and feel pity for them. Like they must have been abused by their grandfather, or they have an ugly wife, or a thousand other things that would explain why this freaking idiot is cutting everyone off in traffic when he’s ultimately not going to get there any sooner, and possibly much later than anyone else. Or why is this Sally in front of me going so slow downtown? She must be unfamiliar with it and is trying to find an address.
Things like that help calm me down. It also helps when you don’t place unnecessary stress on yourself in the first place. Usually it’s the other person that is the catalyst for your own stress bubble to break. Stop worrying so much. If you needed that information, it certainly wasn’t the only way that you could have gotten it…you could have asked the instructor after class, or before the next one, or by emailing them or….. Cut that stress off before it gets a chance to get a little steam behind it and you’ll find that the other things you used to get upset about start becoming less and less.
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