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This is a topic that goes both for the DIY mechanics and professionals.
It has happened me several times, that my intention to be helpfull turns into frustration. Frustration since maybe i from time to time has been giving friends and family a little to much freedom, so much that they expect or demands even more.
This can of course be anything from when they “need to deliver it X – and i need it back X” without taking my time schedule into account. Often i got much to do, so i need to tell them that “i can not fix it before x – and it can be done X”. If you make a appointment at a given time sometimes they can turn up late, or leaving me a message that “i come later today” and you keep waiting for someone you do not know when they to arrive. Last time i heard “i do not got time today, so we have to do it tomorrow” and at the same time i lost another customer (since our appointment today was booked when another needed it). If you do not set the terms, they might do.
Another thing is economical. I have experienced that someone is surprised why i do not do it as a plain favor, and i have to explain that i have to take into account that i needed materials, i to pay bills, tools are expensive etc – they do not last forever, and to expand and keep going i need to earn money from what i do. And of course knowledge got its own price, i want to earn from what i do.
I guess this is a much greater problem for the helpful DIY, since as a professional you often learn to treath your friends and family as customers, and makes sure they know that they cant expect to be specially treated. We got a appointment for a given discound (i only do discount on labour), a fixed delivery time etc.
In my opinion it is, for the sake of the friendship important to make sure keep sources to conflicts to a minimum, avoid situation that creates frustration, disputes that is a result for being to kind or to tollerant. Be in control, make sure that they do not expect more than you are willing to give. Make sure to inform (as always) about the possible risks of saving money when doing a repair.
A situation where a ordinary customer is dissatisfied with your work, it can split a friendship in a worst case scenario.
What is your experience with friends/family and expectations for you as a friend? What do you do to protect the friendship?
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A difficult situation for sure. I touched on it briefly in this video.
Perhaps I can revisit it at some point and be a little more specific to your request. Thanks for the suggestion.
Hello Eric and thanks for the response! Yes i have seen that video and i could not agree more, you are totaly right – but it covers mostly the morale dilema between the employee and the employer.
I was thinking more about that dilema between you as a technician – shop owner (or a DIY) and friends and family members that expecting your help as a friend rather than a professional. Or from the other perspective, maybe you do not work with fixing cars, but simply are a skilled DIY friends or family members turn to when their cars needs repair.
Its more like when your will to be kind, and wanting to help turns to unreasonable expectations.
The reason why i mention this topic is by the way since i guess many of us needs to learn to handle this at some point. Me for example, in my early days i wanted to help as a DIY, but was way to kind when it came to the economical perspective – later on i began to demand more, and demand more (for example that i wanted the car delivered at a given time. As a DIY you often need to take both your own family into concideration and the people you want to help. “I come over with it something during the day” is for example a freedom that a friend MIGHT expect and you are walking around for hours waiting for this friend to come waiting with other things you could have done.. and maybe he/her never shows up.
This is a question about demanding what you think this work is worth, and to expect and demand the assumptions that makes you able to help as smooth as possible without affecting your own morale, respect, time and needs. – I really did suck bigtime when it came to this before, so i know how frustrating it can be! :blush: Give someone a finger and they take the whole hand 👿
Good topic Janroger. I’m a DIY guy for a long time and I know the difficulties of working for friends and family. I’m fortunate enough to have a good job so I don’t need to do it for money. That being said I don’t like to work for nothing. My guidelines are first of all time, do I have it to spare. Next is difficulty, is it a job I can do well and safely. Thirdly is need, does the person asking for help really need it or are they just trying to save a buck. If I have the time and ability to do the job and the person really needs a hand I jump in whenever I can. If a job is beyond me I try to give advice and maybe steer them to someone who can do the job reasonably. If it’s just someone too cheap to pay then I won’t have time.
Compensation is the hard part. Close friends and family I work for nothing but usually I get some kind of reward, Timmy’s gift card or help with a project I’m working on. Sometimes I work for beer if it’s an easy job or not too time consuming. If it’s a little more complex or it’s an acquaintance then I give them a price or hourly rate that we both agree on. If the person balks or tries to low ball me I pass. Sometimes this leads to hard feelings but such is life.
The point in Eric’s video about it being a business is very important. Even as a DIY guy tools cost money and my experience,knowledge and time are worth something.
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