Basically what happens is when coolant mixes with oil, then it turns into the consistency of a milkshake. Pale colored, definitely noticeable.
Oil darkens as it ages and is used, and is considered perfectly normal (to a point). So if the oil darkens and doesn’t look like a milkshake, that’s generally a good sign for the purposes of our current situation.
My concern about what Evil-I was suggesting is that there’s no physical way for oil to get into the coolant overflow bottle aside from being deliberately added or from the radiator. If oil had contaminated your coolant to the point that it back-washed into the overflow bottle, then it’d be literally everywhere throughout your entire engine and cooling system… and WOULD show up on the dipstick.
So if the dipstick is dark, then I sincerely doubt it is leaking from the engine. If there’s oil in the overflow bottle as you say (and I have no reason to doubt you), then I strongly fear that one of the mechanics you took it to is messing with your head and trying to get you to implement unneeded repairs.
A creamy texture (and discoloration/milkshake colored oil) under the oil fill cap is not necessarily an issue as there can be a degree of condensation under the cap. That can and will cause the milkshake appearance there due to water without it being a systemic problem.
Nightflyr just posted some EXCELLENT pictures that should help.
We’ll help however you need us to. We’re a useful lot, here.
-Hinoki