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Anybody ever done work for an ungrateful friend

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  • #642970
    NickNick
    Participant

      That has treated your poorly. I have some acquaintances that about 8 months ago asked me to do some deeply discounted work to their daughters car. I agreed to try to help them out struggling family yadda yadda yadda we have all heard the stories. Work is on a 1995 Ford Taurus 3.0 litre, Car is sputtering at idle, randomly turning itself off, and transmission is slipping. Dad tells me I changed the front 3 spark plugs but didn’t change the back because I couldn’t get to them.

      So my first order of thought just start with the basic stuff. On my own dime I bought all new plugs plugs wires, distributor cap and rotor. I want to make sure the ignition and fuel is clean and new so that I can start getting an accurate assessment of things.

      Well 2 days go by and they stop by the house on a Saturday to join my family for a barbeque. I tell Dad that its time to start saving some serious money for the car because the transmission is slipping and it won’t last much longer.

      Next thing I know Dad is screaming at me goes into my shop gets my BRAND new 3 ton shop jack and jacks the car up in my driveway. Looking at random stuff. Screams at me about the daughters car drops the car in my driveway leaves my jack laying in the driveway and drives off.

      So how do you guys deal with ungrateful people (mind you I was not charging labor but helping a charity case). I was taught to respect people and treat people the way you want to be treated.

      P.S. Got a call 2 days ago the transmission is out in a 1995 Ford Taurus guess who has been nominated for the repair. So far my stance is I will not even consider touching the car without an apology from her dad.

    Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)
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    • #642982
      ErinErin
      Participant

        That is how to get help – yell at the mechanic, mess with his expensive tools, and make a scene. I think you need to tell him where to cram it, otherwise he will KEEP taking advantage of you.

        A trans rebuild is serious business and why should they expect you to do that for little or nothing? Probably needs a “hard” rebuild and parts alone could end up $500 or more. You know what a shop would charge for that mess? Does he expect you to buy the parts too? Like say the wadded up gear train (if bad)?

        I think you kind of need to transition these people out of your life.

        For my experience – yeah my sister did something similar. She had this 99 civic that would not start sometimes, especially during rain. Anyways by the time it made it to my garage, it needed some work. A starter, couple sensors, etc… So being the cheap skate she is, she wanted to get the parts at the junk yard. So I go there when it is snowing to get the parts, get them home, mess with this heap of crap blah blah…
        Payment? a $50 store credit to Stein-Mart. THE most worthless store on planet Earth. A store credit to STEIN-MART! :sick: I cringe just knowing that place exists, don’t get me started as to why. Let’s just say “bad christmas gifts”.

        She has helped me several times in the past so at first I had no problems helping but things just started getting stupider with each chore she needed help with.

        One time it was to paint the basement. Of course she wanted to buy THE cheapest paint available. The paint that even after curing, it will wash off with plain ol water. Kind of like kid’s paint. I say “Look, there is a reason it is cheap…”

        Here is the truth – you cannot help someone who will not try to help themselves.

        #642991
        none nonenone
        Participant

          The only thanks you’ll get will probably be more bitching and screaming that you didn’t return a brand new car to him. I think you already know this too. Do yourself a favor and cut ties with this guy altogether. You can explain why you’re not giving him any more of your time, expect him to have another childish spat, and then move on with your life. People like him very seldom ever change.

          I was taught to respect people and “do unto others” myself and I just refuse to abide by it anymore. If you want respect, you earn it. And it’s not that anybody else has to or needs to earn my respect, but be grown up enough not to command mine or anybody else’s disrespect.

          #643023
          ErinErin
          Participant

            How to handle them – Stand up to them. Or you just have to cut ties.
            Assuming standing up to them, they will probably try some guilt trip BS. Don’t buy into it.
            Easier said than done I suppose. If he moans something about “Well, I guess I will go to a shop and pay a fortune (sigh)” Then politely say, “It is good to hear you are working things out” as if you are genuine instead of being smart alec 😀

            I don’t know though, I am still kind of trippin’ that this guy had the nerve to yell at you over this. Is he like some drunk? Assuming you all are over the age of 35, his ass should be grown up by now. You know, reasoning like a MAN instead of some 19 year old kid.

            Once you quit dealing with him, he will just move on to the next person to bleed dry.

            #643059
            Walt jrWalt jr
            Participant

              Only time I do work for friends is if I can barter something, today I am servicing a plow truck for a friend in trade for some snow plowing that he has agreed to do for me at one of my rental properties, charging friends actual money always seems to lead to hurt feelings so I try to avoid it. I also try to distance myself from ungrateful people.

              #643082
              James MasologitesJames Masologites
              Participant

                Been there and done that…ungrateful ex-girlfriend with a POS Honda Accord, did all kinds of work to it. Somehow, it may have been my fault, not sure how it happened, a paper towel ended up in her throttle body and jammed the throttle. I’m pretty sure I didn’t let that happen, but whatever.

                Did I ever hear how I kept her car running (for free)? No, but I did hear about a million times that my sloppiness almost got her killed. After that I refused to help her with anything.

                Fast forward a couple years, working on my girlfriend’s mom’s car (different girlfriend). I tell her she needs new ball joints, brakes, and tie rod ends so she drops the car off. $350 in parts later and multiple evenings spent hammering out rusted suspension parts, she tells me she just wanted her interior vacuumed and the car washed and waxed. Guess who ate the cost of the parts? (not her.)

                #643120
                BlackenZaibBlackenZaib
                Participant

                  I have been there too. However, for me it was fixing friends’ computers.

                  Example: i was once asked to fix a Acer Aspire One A150 netbook PC for a friend i’ve had since grade school. The work involved replacing the Hard Drive, Trackpad cable, Keyboard, and because i somehow shorted it out in testing,… a motherboard as the battery no longer charged from whatever shorted out. for that mistake i ate the cost of the new board but told the friend how much the job was it was a total of around $65 for parts as i also needed to buy a hard drive caddy and they wanted one of those silicon keyboard protectors. 3 years later i still haven’t been paid. When the 3rd HDD i replaced failed they wanted me to fix it this time due to the fact i had no parts on hand for another “free” hard drive, I told them they needed to buy a new HDD for me to fix it. after having the laptop for a month they finally contact me and say they bought another laptop from another friend and that i can keep this netbook and do with it what I please. Not really a ungreatful friend as when it worked they never complained and were pleased with what i did. But being that i was never paid for the 4 times i worked on it 3 being hard drive replacements i thought that i would share this story.

                  #643214
                  ErinErin
                  Participant

                    Another one I have is a few years ago i was changing the valve cover gaskets on my step-dad’s SUV. It was more of a PITA than it looks cause getting the valve covers to puzzle out of the way sucks. Anyways so I am there TRYING to work and he comes out to bitch about something that had happened about a decade before. Almost whining like a 5 year old who wants McDonalds. The kind of thing you hope will happen. You are there and a “simple” job turns into a nightmare which stresses you out; and here comes the vehicle owner to complain about something that happened in 1998. BIG girl panties, sir.

                    [quote=”Masospaghetti” post=117853]ungrateful ex-girlfriend with a POS Honda Accord, did all kinds of work to it. Somehow, it may have been my fault, not sure how it happened, a paper towel ended up in her throttle body and jammed the throttle. I’m pretty sure I didn’t let that happen, but whatever.

                    Did I ever hear how I kept her car running (for free)? No, but I did hear about a million times that my sloppiness almost got her killed. After that I refused to help her with anything.[/quote]

                    Was it a Brawny paper towel? I cannot imagine a cheap one hanging the throttle much since they are pretty tight. 😆

                    Hearing about the bad stuff constantly – There is some words of wisdom expression for this but yeah it is true – You could save the world and be a hero for a day but if you (mess) up ONE TIME, you are a POS.

                    I love this thread 🙂

                    #643742
                    NickNick
                    Participant

                      Anyways the car is now at my house guess who gets to do an Automatic Transmission replacement on a 2003 Grand Prix. Anyways I made them do the following

                      1 A Sincere Apology
                      2 Buy me a new Tranny Jack
                      3 Guarantee a shop clean up afterwards.

                      At first things went poorly me refusing to budge on it and saying no. BUT after much begging and pleading and them getting upset about me making them buy the parts and jack up front I got my apology. They are however last in line of vehicles waiting to be done. (Cheap good service is definetly not fast).

                      Anyways.

                      Had a similar situation with my Mother In Law a few years back. It was middle of December and this was before I owned the shop. Her car recently had a reman engine installed somewhere, and the car had absolutely 0 heat, additionally the temp gauge never heated up.

                      The shop that installed the engine didn’t install a new thermostat and I guess it got stuck in the failsafe open mode. Installed a thermostat and 15 minutes later nice hot heat never even so much as got a thank you. (I have done more than I care to admit to her stupid car). Multiple tune ups, multiple brake jobs, cv axles, motor mounts (that rear mount on a 626 is a serious PIA) never so much as a thanks. Last time I told her I would set the car on fire if she brought it back to my shop again with money.

                      That WAS ONE HECK of a PAPER TOWEL, I am assuming you were wanting her to be an EX?

                      #643958
                      BluesnutBluesnut
                      Participant

                        I’ve been in that situation a few times with friends and in-laws. An now ex brother in law of mine by marriage had an 80s era Chevy pickup that the engine went south on. He had just changed jobs and was doing ok but I felt sorry for him and offered to help.

                        A guy I knew had a small obscure salvage so I dropped by to see if he had a 350 and he said he had just gotten a beater Chevy car in with a 350 that ran great. The car could even be taken and test driven and the engine is 250 bucks pulled and with all accessories.

                        The BIL went by, drove the car, and bought the engine. I installed it free of charge and the truck ran great. The BIL took it out for a test drive and I never saw that guy again. Ever. Not even a thank you through the grapevine.
                        He ended up in a divorce and moved.

                        The lack of a civil thank you was bad enough but what really pxxxxx me off was discovering that he had told several other in-laws that I had screwed him to death on that job.
                        Go figure. Last time I ever touched a friend or in-law’s car.

                        #644205
                        JonJon
                        Participant

                          I wouldn’t get involved with people like that, do whatever business you have with them leftover and don’t deal with him/them anymore. The father sounds bughouse.

                          #645425
                          BlackenZaibBlackenZaib
                          Participant

                            Thanks for the Advice Jinzo, I’ll make sure the follow that next time i am asked to fix a friend’s computer. I gotta make money somehow charging labor is something i should start doing to friends. Maybe even discounted labor depending on how good of a friend they are.

                            #645450
                            Thomas FerryThomas Ferry
                            Participant

                              [quote=”BlackenZaib” post=119002]Thanks for the Advice Jinzo, I’ll make sure the follow that next time i am asked to fix a friend’s computer. I gotta make money somehow charging labor is something i should start doing to friends. Maybe even discounted labor depending on how good of a friend they are.[/quote]

                              No problem, I’ve just always been one to make sure my backside is covered. Especially with PC’s people love to take advantage of anyone with any a spec of tech knowledge. I know this from experience myself. I’ve also seen people get mad cause I will not cut them a break even though I did. I’ve seen some techs charge 40 50 bucks just to have the thing diagnosed.

                              Another one of my favorite lines people like to use is “I have this friend that does it will do it for this such and such or say such and such” I always reply saying, “why don’t go to them instead?”

                              #646023
                              BlackenZaibBlackenZaib
                              Participant

                                [quote=”Jinzo” post=119014]
                                Another one of my favorite lines people like to use is “I have this friend that does it will do it for this such and such or say such and such” I always reply saying, “why don’t go to them instead?”[/quote]

                                I have had that too. One of my Pet-Peeves is when a friend or aquaintence asks me to fix their computer and they either cant even tell me what the problem is (As most of the time i can tell right away what the problems is) or they tell me what’s wrong with it and I tell them the possible causes or fixes just for them to either have someone else fix it or just get a new computer. I myself have not bought a new computer since 2006. The computers I use are all old and second hand systems. The newest computer i have is a 2008 DELL laptop. I just guess my views on technoligy are different. I am the kind that “If it works I’ll use it” rather than the kind that needs all the latest and greatest. I have more important things to spend my money on.

                                #646031
                                Thomas FerryThomas Ferry
                                Participant

                                  [quote=”BlackenZaib” post=119325][quote=”Jinzo” post=119014]
                                  Another one of my favorite lines people like to use is “I have this friend that does it will do it for this such and such or say such and such” I always reply saying, “why don’t go to them instead?”[/quote]

                                  I have had that too. One of my Pet-Peeves is when a friend or aquaintence asks me to fix their computer and they either cant even tell me what the problem is (As most of the time i can tell right away what the problems is) or they tell me what’s wrong with it and I tell them the possible causes or fixes just for them to either have someone else fix it or just get a new computer. I myself have not bought a new computer since 2006. The computers I use are all old and second hand systems. The newest computer i have is a 2008 DELL laptop. I just guess my views on technoligy are different. I am the kind that “If it works I’ll use it” rather than the kind that needs all the latest and greatest. I have more important things to spend my money on.[/quote]

                                  Yep same here being an tech. The worst part of it when they intentionally are being vague. Though 95% of the time we as techs know its adware, malware,etc etc and other 5% is hardware on the verge of dieing or they just dont have enough PC for the tasks at hand.

                                  I havent bought myself a system since 2003 when i got out of high school. I tend to find derelict old PC’s and restore em to working order. Like this one i own now isnt a slouch it was my friends custom built. He gave it to me since he was moving overseas. I also tend to upgrade existing systems before i move on.

                                  #646068
                                  BlackenZaibBlackenZaib
                                  Participant

                                    I built me my 1st and only custom computer in 2008. The system lasted 4 year and it STILL runs to this day but its had nothing but problems from the getgo. I eventually replaced it with a PowerMac G4 MDD. I used nothing but Mac for over a year because all my Windows PCs died on me. I prefer buying second hand pre-built computers as if they are still alive after 4 years they are pretty solid. Right now I am typing this on a PDSInc Vector GZ SFF Business-grade desktop I got for free from my now ex-girlfriend as the apartment complex she lives at has a table in the lobby for other residents to leave things they don’t want. This just needed a hard drive and it needs a dedicated Graphics card. Unfortunately since this is the 1st computer ive owned with DDR2 RAM and PCI-e I have to buy a card. The BTX SFF Design limits card choices DRASTICALLY.

                                    The second computer I got this year was a HP Pavilion a824n Tower PC. I paid exactly $10 for it at a local garage sale. I Have upgraded both these systems though not much.

                                    The HP i gave to my Mother when her laptop died. I added a PCI SoundBlaster Audigy SE and a PCI nVIDIA FX5500 Graphics card i had on hand. It runs Windows 8 which my mom hates and I made a Custom Windows XP disc for it.

                                    The PDS which i use every day and it pretty much runs 24/7 is running Linux Mint 17 MATE edition. For the longest time I ran Windows 2000 on it with the BWC Modified Windows 2000 Kernel and it works great allows me to play 720p HD YouTube with a Intel 845 onboard video. I have been using Linux Mint for 4 days on it now. Seems to work fine. Only downfall is i need to use Firefox to watch YouTube at all because it don’t play back well with Chromium. Only Downfall is that I can no longer use Kik Messenger via BlueStacks.

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