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This is gonna be rather lengthy. This is really more of an “Article” type thing rather than your run-of-the-mill forum post. It does have a useful final result to it, so bear with me here.
I find that it helps if I tell you the full-story of how I made my discovery, what it was that drove me to experimenting, and the proposal I made to the Car Gods for a great idea that will work. Eventually, I ~will~ provide you with another method, but the story is rather interesting (to me anyways).I’d like to try and open with some humor…
So you’re workin away in the dealership, getting Flat-Raped by warranty horseshit when your Writer hands you a PDI.
“Oh boy!” You say to yourself. “Gravy work! 2014 Silverado 1500 4×4, yes, yes, jolly good and… Accessories… Chrome Recovery Hooks. Right-O!”
30 Minutes later, the In-Shop portion of the PDI is finished, and you watch your lift go up in the air.
You open up the kit, locate the instructions, and verify: 2 new chrome plated tow hooks, 2 long bolts, 2 nuts, 2 short bolts. The instructions state to remove the existing bolts, remove the hooks, install the new hooks, install the new bolts, and away you go.
The Accessories Labor Time Guide gives 0.5 clicks to do the job, and you figure that you can do it in 0.3 clicks. The PDI pays 1.3, the hooks pay 0.5, total is 1.8, and when it’s all said and done, you will have just a hair over 0.8 invested into this sumbitch. Whoo-ee! Yer takin the wife out for dinner at the Steak house tonight! T-Bones and smashed taters with gravy!!!
What are you, Naïve or something?! Have you seen the shit that General Motors throws at us? Good Lord, if you get a Camaro with a failed heater-core, S.I. tells you that fuckin WINDSHIELD has to come out! And then the parts department is nice enough to inform you that the customer also has to buy a brand new windshield. Can’t reuse the old one!
Sorry, I digress…
OK, for all you guys that have cussed out the engineers as you did this job, I might have a solution. This post is geared more towards the guy who hasn’t done this job yet. It is my goal to save you the annoyance of fiddley-farting around with something that looks so simple, but really isn’t. I have to say though, this ain’t no walk in the park. It’s a motherfucker and a half.
When I put these Yuppy-Scumbag status-symbols on for the first time, I came within a fraction of an inch of just quitting my job, and rolling my fuckin toolbox out the door. I’m sorry, but I don’t get paid enough money for this shit.
What ended up happening is, you will see there are some brackets on the ends of the frame rails which support the bumper. That’s all fine and dandy, except for the part where these brackets *WILL* totally and completely prevent you from swapping out the tow hooks because the bolts will not clear the bracketry.
I went back to the so-called “instructions”, saw that they were useless, and then I found the new bolts that come with the kit. Fuck it, I’ll grab my die grinder, cut the old ones out, and install the new ones.
Well that got them out alright, and I swapped the hooks easy enough, but installing the new bolts is still a challenge. You can sort of get them in there part way, but the bolt head is still jammed against that damned bumper bracket. For a laugh, I gently tapped one of the bolts with my 8oz ball-pien hammer. It did move forward slightly, but I figured there had to be a better way.
My Mentor came over upon request, and after 30 minutes of toying with it, he grabbed my 18″ Snappy Pry-Bar & 24oz Blue-Point Ball-Pien. It took about 20 minutes of careful bashing, but he was able to beat the shit out of the bolts until they finally fell into place.
We have installed them this way a few times, but after my mentor knocked a small chunk out of the wooden handle on my hammer, and then rolled over a few threads on one bolt making it difficult to put the nut onto it, I decided there must be a better method. I simply refuse to spend 1.5 hours on a job that flags 0.5 hours. We thought we could shave the time down better with more practice, but it just isn’t possible.
My Mentor advised me to involve our Service Manager. I was very reluctant to do this for a stupid accessory installation on a PDI but hey, an Apprentice can’t argue with his Mentor, right?
We all discussed the issue and found something useful on S.I.: They want you to pull the damned bumper apart. To do this, first remove the sight-shield that sits on top of the grille and radiator. Next you pull the wheel-house liners half-way out to access bumper-fascia screws. S.I. says to insert a plastic trim tool under the grille and use a flat blade tool to release the clips. I couldn’t figure it out and my Mentor couldn’t either. The tools don’t fit into that non-existant gap between the grille & bumper-fascia.
Our Manager told us to call T.A.C.
I’ve never called T.A.C. before, so as soon as I got somebody on the horn and he asked me what the problem was, the first thing I did was explain that I am just an Apprentice, very “green” in this business, and I said: “I really have to apologize for the stupidity of this problem, but how do I take this bumper-fascia off?” I waited for him to laugh or yell at me for wasting his time.
I was surprised when this guy spent 30 minutes reading through S.I., and understanding what was going on. He’d put me on hold, ask a question, put me on hold… Then, he told me that they (T.A.C.) had one of these out in their shop, and he was going to work on it and then call me back later. In the meantime, he said to loosen up the bumper to try and make it sag down, providing some room to maneuver the fascia out.
As soon as I lifted the vehicle high enough to figure out the bumper, my Mentor noticed the clips holding the fascia. We figured out really fast that you can use a Radiator Hose hook tool to pull the clips down, and gently work the fascia out.
After tons of yelling and cussing at it, my Mentor said: “Jesus! H! Christ! I’ve got 50 years in this business, and I’ve never seen something so fucked up! Why don’t they just tell you to lift the vehicle and look up?! Why can’t they tell you to use a hose pick and remove it?!”
I looked at S.I. again: They tell you to pull the grille out first. When you click the hyper-link to see how to pull the grille out, they tell you that you have to pull the fascia off in order to access the grille bolts. Well, what the fuck?!
You’re telling me to pull the fascia out in order to pull the grille, but then the instructions to pull the fascia tells you to pull the grille first. Which is it?!
Well, the lower grille bolts are hidden behind the bumper-fascia. Ipso Facto, you’re fucked. You have to be extremely careful, and waste a lot of time to pull the fascia first.Next, you pull the grille out. Then, S.I. tells you to remove the little plastic air-dam hanging from the bumper. Well, that fucker has about 19,000 bolts. Each bolt is staggered head-up, head-down. The air-dam is angled back, and down. It was all I could do to put a 10mm wrench onto the bolts facing downward.
Next, S.I. states to remove the Bumper-Impact-Bar doohickey or whatever the hell it’s called. To do that, you have to pull the bumper. The cartoon drawings on S.I. frickin suck. My Mentor and I couldn’t figure it out, so I just got pissed off and said: “Fuck this shit! I’m putting this motherfucker back together, and installing these damn hooks the same way we’ve always done it! There isn’t a better way! This shit is so fucked….!”
When the guy from T.A.C. was able to call back, he sympathized with me for a few minutes and explained that his boss had to come and look at the problem too, and then the T.A.C. agent was informed that these tow hooks are quite an issue. What’s worse is that there is no solution. T.A.C. themselves are unable to find an easier way to do these fucking things.
The T.A.C. guy was awesome. Totally upbeat and positive. His attitude really improved my own. I wish I could remember his name…
The conversation ended with a kick to the groin. It went something like this…
TAC: “So before I give you my solution to the bumper-fascia, were you guys able to figure it out? Did the idea to loosen the bumper help?”
Me: “Actually, as soon as we lifted it into the air so we could figure out how to do that, we found the fascia clips, and used a radiator hose tool to release them. They’re right up underneath the grille on the underside of the fascia, and you will never see them or put tools on them if you go in from the front.”
The T.A.C. agent’s positive attitude faltered. Suddenly, he sounded rather down-and-out.
TAC: “Oh…Are you…Serious?”
Me: “Oh yeah, it isn’t very easy to pry that fascia out, but we got it out without breaking the damn thing.”
TAC: “Wow. That’s actually a lot better and easier than what we figured out. Your method is better than ours.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
TAC: “Well, we broke a couple of those plastic wedge tools that S.I. suggests using, and scratched some paint, but we couldn’t find another method to remove it besides the information already given by GM.”
We discussed the tow hooks further, and that was when I learned that there just isn’t a solution available.
I’ve done a couple of these damned things and somehow I was actually able to save one of the old bolts. I saved that bolt and stayed late one night after work and off the clock.
Here is what I have come up with:
2014 Silverado Chrome Recovery Hook Installation
Obtain your kit and verify that you have 2 hooks, 2 long bolts, 2 nuts, 2 short bolts.
Throw the instructions in the garbage can where they belong.Tools Required:
3/8″ drive Impact gunExtension: 3 inch long, impact grade.
3/8″ drive by 18mm 6-point “wobbly” socket, ***shallower than normal depth***, impact grade
3/8″ drive by 18mm 6-point “wobbly” socket, ***Mid-Length***, Impact grade
18mm box-end wrench.
Die-Grinder with cutoff wheel.
Small Channel Locks pliers.
~Recommended Tool: Wearable Head Light. One of those lights with a stretchy band that you wear around your head. You know, just like that thing that Richard Simmons has on his head, except it’s not gay and it has a light on the front.
NOTE: All factory bolts are installed with the bolt heads facing the passenger’s side, and the nuts facing the driver’s side.
Remove the 2 short bolts from the factory tow hooks. These are the rearward bolts. They thread into a captured nut on the tow hook. The forward most bolts are the long ones that cause this entire job to be a total and complete C***.
On the passenger’s side tow hook, install 18mm ***Shallow*** wobble socket onto bolt-head. Insert 3 inch extension into socket, and attach 3/8″ Impact gun.
Using 18mm Box-End wrench to hold the nut from spinning, remove the nut from the bolt.
On the driver’s side, Install 18mm ***Mid-Length*** socket onto the nut, using 3″ extension, install impact gun. Use 18mm wrench to hold the bolt head from spinning. Remove the nut.
Using Channel Locks, grasp each bolt at the threaded end. Use die-grinder to cut the bolt-head off. This is the part where you might like to have a wearable head light since one hand is holding the pliers and the other hand is holding the grinder and you can’t see in the dark.
Remove the bolts.
Now that the 4 old bolts have been removed and thrown into the trash, remove the factory black tow hooks, and install the chrome ones. Don’t forget to swap over the foam piece.
Grab your new long bolts.
WARNING AND CAUTION:
***not*** RECOMMENDED [color=#ff0000]NOR APPROVED BY GM.
[/color]
I DISCOVERED THESE “TRICKS” MOSTLY BY ACCIDENT USING ONE OLD BOLT THAT I WAS ABLE TO SAVE WITHOUT CUTTING IT OFFI PERSONALLY HAVE NOT ACTUALLY USED THE FOLLOWING METHODS TO PERFORM THE INSTALLATION, I MERELY DISCOVERED SOMETHING THAT WILL WORK TO MAKE THIS JOB GO FASTER[/color]
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>> What you can do here is to hold your new bolt against the underside of the frame-rail. Eye-ball the bolt for length. (If *you think you know* where I’m going with this, just wait a minute before you cry “foul”.)
Install the nut onto the bolt.
Note that the head of the bolt as well as the bottom side of the nut has a normal hexagonal bolt-head with a shoulder directly underneath of it. The shoulder protrudes at a larger diameter than the actual bolt-head and is perfectly round. Same for the nut. My Mentor refers to this as the bolt’s “Foreskin”. lolHold the nut & bolt against your frame-rail.
Check for length. What you are looking for here is to have the shoulder of the bolt itself against the side of the frame-rail, and the shank of the bolt against the underside. The shoulder of the nut will rest against the frame-rail on the opposite side of the bolt head.
Back the nut out approximately 1080 degrees (3 turns). This is your final bolt size. It will leave you with a couple of excess threads on the end of each bolt.
Use the die-grinder or a bench grinder to cut the bolt off right against the nut. :whistle:
~Tools may be required in order to remove the nut from the shortened bolt due to the last thread on the bolt shank being damaged. This is why I recommend using the die-grinder to cut most of the excess length from the bolt, and then use a Pedestal/Bench grinder to bring the bolt length down against the nut. The bench grinder makes the edge of your threads just a little bit smoother and neater.
Next, use the bench grinder to make a flat spot on your bolt shoulder. Be careful to make your flat spot just ever so slightly higher than the flat side of the bolt-head’s hexagon. You can continue until the flat spot is ground down flush with the hex head, but that runs the risk of nicking the bolt head which may cause tool fitment issues. That’s what I did on my prototype.
Clarification: Do NOT under any circumstances modify your nuts. :pinch:
The suggested modifications are applied to the bolts ONLYNow, your modified bolts will slip directly into the frame-rails, through the tow hook, and out the other side of the frame-rail. Rotate the bolt so the flat spot that you made glides across that bumper bracket.
When I demonstrated my bolt modification to my Mentor, he suggested that we also demonstrate it for the Manager. Some trucks will require the left side tow hook’s long bolt to be installed backwards (meaning the bolt head facing the left as opposed to all others facing right), and some trucks will require the passenger’s side tow hook bolt to be installed backwards. I haven’t figured out why, but that’s because I don’t care anymore.
As a matter of fact: The proper procedure outlined in S.I. actually states to install both bolts in this fashion.My Service Manager told me that this is a very good idea. If this was going onto his personal truck, he would implement my modifications. However, if somebody gets their truck stuck in the mud, and that tow hook fails, if an investigation shows bolt modifications were performed, that could cause an issue.
I’m sure many of you are freaking out and crying “foul” over these slight modifications. There are those people out there who can only paint-by-the-numbers instead of using their own colors. Some people just cannot think outside of the box.
To anybody who is blowing a gasket right now, I ask you this question: What is a mechanic’s actual job? Do we repair cars? Yeah, but can you simplify it further?
When it all boils down, and you get down to the nitty-gritty of it all, we are nothing more or less than Problem Solvers. I found a problem, and I created a solution. Implementation of that solution has been discouraged due to liability issues. Time well spent.STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY:
If you think that shortening the bolts will cause failure, I encourage you to examine the bolts in their natural habitat. Which is to say, look at the excess length on them as they are sitting there mounted in the truck. Do all of those threads actually hold the hooks in place any better? Nope. It is the threads inside of the nut which grasp the threads of the bolt and hold that bolt in place. The bolt and nut torqued against the frame-rail and passing through the tow hooks hold the hooks in place.The shoulder on each bolt doesn’t really do anything at all that I know of. It might just be there to prevent your socket from slipping off of the bolt-head and down over the shank. That’s the only reason that anybody has ever given me for the bolt to have a shoulder on it.
I have shown my modified bolt to several guys in the shop, and they all agree with me that it’s a great idea. When you attach a tow chain to these hooks, the stress is applied to the shank of the bolt, and is spread out across it’s “useful length” where it contacts the frame-rail and tow hook. The smaller bolt passes through the frame-rail and threads into the tow hook.
These are some pretty heavy-duty fucking bolts, man! They are made of a high quality steel which is probably heat-treated for even greater strength. If you get that Rig stuck in the mud someplace, those 4 bolts are the only things that will enable you to pull it out of there. Trust me, they’re freakin strong. Removing the excess length, and flat-spotting the shoulder isn’t going to compromise the strength of that bolt.
FINAL WORD:
When the boss-man said “no”, I gave up and tossed my modified bolt in the trash can. Whenever I get stuck with these tow hooks, my Mentor helps me smack the bolts into place. We’re much more careful now, and haven’t nicked any threads. We’ve got it down to 1.0 hour, but it still pays 0.5 clicks. GM is out of their mind if they think that I’m going to spend half a day fiddley-fucking around and pulling bumpers off of brand new trucks for something that is so absurdly simple.If you’re out there getting Flat-Raped by the dealership every day and you’re looking for a better way to skin a cat: This is it. Modify them fuckin bolts.
If I’m wrong and you know better, then please for the love of God: Say something! It’s only a matter of time before I lose my patience and start modifying every single one of these damned bolts. But if I’m wrong, you gotta be able to explain it to me. After all, we’re here to learn, right?
Good luck, and God help us all. 🙂
In the Immortal, Great words of our fearless leader Mr. EricTheCarGuy,
Be Safe, Have Fun, and of course…
STAY DIRTY!!!!!!! banana:
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